Why I’m still a Mormon

I’m not a shining example of  “Good Mormon.”

I’ve struggled with pornography most of my adult life.

I’ve lied countless times.  I don’t want people thinking bad things about me.

I’ve been inactive in the Church for most of my adult life.

It would be easier to just leave the Church completely.

But I don’t.

I can’t.

I know it’s true.

Turning my back on the Church would be like turning my back on myself.

When I was twenty-four I hadn’t gone to church for several years.

I felt like I needed to go back.  I was afraid to talk to a bishop.  Afraid to confess my sins.

I decided to take some religion classes.  I could get some spirituality in my life without any pressure.

After about six months I decided to go to church.

I only went for Sacrament meeting.  I didn’t go in the chapel.  I sat out in the foyer and listened.

After a few months I had my records transferred to that ward.

I started sitting in the chapel during Sacrament meeting.

Eventually I started going to all the meetings.

Then one day in priesthood meeting one of the other guys told me a group of guys were going to see a movie together.  He asked if I’d like to come.

I got spooked.

I didn’t go back to church for awhile.

I slowly started going again, eventually going to all the meetings.

Then one Sunday it happened.

Just before Sacrament the Bishop’s Secretary came up to me.  He asked if I could see the Bishop after the meeting.

This was it.

The Bishop had just wanted to meet me.  I spilled my guts anyway.

I felt so much better afterward.

I started meeting with him every week.

At that point I decided I’d better find out for myself if the Church was really true.

I’d believed it was for years.  I was never quite sure, though.

I’d been reading the Book of Mormon on and off for several months.

I’d never finished the whole thing.

I decided now was the time.

I finished it.  Then I prayed about it.

I got a feeling I’d never felt before.

I knew it was true.

I still do.

I’m not a “Good Mormon”

I’m a hypocrite.  I’m lazy.  I just don’t wanna go.

I don’t say these things to condemn myself.  I just need to work on them.

I haven’t gone to church for most of my adult life.  I’ve been wandering in the wilderness.

I don’t have a good reason.

That’s not to say I don’t have any reasons.

I have social anxiety.  Especially around people I don’t consider friends.

I haven’t made any friends at church.  Because of the social anxiety.

I feel ashamed.  I don’t live up to the Church’s standards.  I want to, but it’s hard.

That’s no excuse, though.

I love the feeling I get when I’m at Church (as long as no one’s trying to talk to me).

Sometimes I feel the Spirit so strong.

It moves me to tears.

Every week I think, “I’m going to go to church next Sunday.”

Then Sunday morning comes.

Those of you who struggle with getting to church know what I’m talking about.

Dragging myself out of bed.

Dragging the kids out of bed.

Getting them ready.

Getting me ready.

Etc.

The people who go to church every week have these problems, too.  Well, maybe not all of them.

I want to be more like them.

I was afraid to go on a mission

I was pretty sheltered as a kid.

My dad died when I was three.

My mom kept me home most of the time.  I was happy there, so I didn’t mind.

In the LDS church young men are expected to serve a full-time mission for two years.  At that time they would go at age nineteen.

I was afraid of being on my own for that long.

I’d been on my own at scout camps and events, but that was it.

I was afraid of being far from home.

I had always wanted to get married.  That seemed a lot safer, and I’d always been romantically inclined.

I had a plan.

Right after high school I would go to college for a year.  While I was there I would find someone to marry.

Never mind that I had never gone out on a date before.

Never mind that I was afraid to even talk to girls.

My plan was foolproof.

What could possibly go wrong?

I’m a Mormon

I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I was raised in the Church and I’ve been a member my whole life.  I believe in it with my whole heart.

Our beliefs make more sense to me than those of any other religion.

We are the spirit children of our Heavenly Father.

Because he is our Father, we have the potential to become like him.  We were sent to this Earth for that reason.

He knew we would make bad choices, and that there would be consequences.  A vital part of His plan was a Savior who would take our sins upon him.

That Savior is Jesus Christ.  Through his atonement every one of us can reach our full potential.

If we truly repent our sins will be forgiven.  True repentance means making a sincere effort not to make the same bad choices over and over.

“Faith without works is dead.”  If you truly believe in something, you’ll act accordingly.  You can’t just say you believe in something and then not live it.

I believe in modern-day revelation.  The world is changing faster than ever, and it doesn’t make sense to me that a loving Heavenly Father would leave His children without guidance at a time like this.

The Book of Mormon is the word of God, just as much as The Bible.  They both testify of Jesus Christ’s divinity and each reinforces the message of the other.

Families can be sealed together for eternity in temples.

Joseph Smith is a prophet of God.  He saw our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and conversed with them.  An evil man couldn’t have produced something like The Book of Mormon, and a good man wouldn’t have pretended it was true if it wasn’t.  If he was a liar, the Church would either have died with him, or it would be an insignificant cult with very few members.

You don’t have to take my word for it, or anyone else’s.  At the end of The Book of Mormon there is a promise:

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Read The Book of Mormon, then pray to know the truth, keeping an open mind and an open heart.  If you do, then like millions of others. you’ll know for yourself.