Changes

It’s been a while since my last post.

I’ve moved out of our apartment.  Into my mom’s basement.

I’ve only spent one night there.  A long night.

I’m still staying at the apartment most nights.

I got a new laptop.  The old one kept overheating.

The wi-fi connection on the new one is flaky.  I’m not sure why.

No job yet. I’m not sure what to do about that.

I ought to start a business.  I’m not sure I’m up to it.

I need to do something, though.

Assuming benevolence

You get cut off in traffic.

You lay on the horn.

You grumble about how rude people are.

Your mood is ruined.

That’s one option.

I had a therapist who told me I should try “assuming benevolence.”

Don’t assume people are out to get you.  Most aren’t even thinking about you.

Assume they had a good reason.

Maybe they were rushing someone to the hospital when they cut you off.

Assuming benevolence reduces your stress.

You’ll be less upset at someone who is rushing someone to the hospital.

The person’s actual reasons aren’t important.  Your response is.

I know when I do this I feel less stress.

Try it.  I’m sure you will, too

I hate my job

I hate talking on the phone.  I’ve been doing professionally for twelve years.

I’m an extreme introvert.  Talking to strangers on the phone all day is DRAINING.

I’m shy.  I avoid talking to strangers.

I’m incredibly awkward.  I’m no good at small talk.  Sometimes it’s hard to end conversations.

I’m sensitive.  I talk to angry people.  They take it out on me.  I take it personally.

My job doesn’t leave me energy to do what I want to do.

I’m afraid to quit.  Talking on the phone is my only real professional experience.  I hate it, but I need to pay rent, bills, etc.

I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.