I don’t want to rush into a new relationship

Don’t worry about finding the right person.  Become the right person.

– Source Unknown

The first step to being the right person is loving yourself.

I’ve hated myself for a long as I can remember.

I’m working on loving myself now.  I feel pretty good about myself now.  I’ve got a lot of bad qualities, but there are a lot of good ones, too.  I can work on the bad ones, and the good ones can always get better.

My relationships with my boys are more important than any romantic relationships right now.  I’m a better father than I’ve been in the past, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

I’m not satisfied with a lot of things in my life right now.

I want to be able to go to the temple, and that’s not something I can do right now.  I want to improve my spirituality and get to the temple.

I’ve been doing phone jobs for most of my life.  I hate talking on the phone.  I ‘m burned out and I really need to do something else.

I’m not healthy.  I’m fat.  I go for walks, but not every day.  I don’t eat healthy.  I’m on an antidepressant and blood pressure meds.  I want to get off those.

I need to start reading books on a daily basis.  I want to learn and develop new skills.

I want to be my own boss.  I wants to build websites and make money from those.

I want to be able to afford to support myself, my wife and kids.  I want my mom to be able to stop working.

I don’t feel like I have to self-actualize before pursuing a romantic relationship.  I do want to get moving in the right direction and make some real progress first.

Making the changes I want will make me a different person.  Someone who would fall in love with the man I am now wouldn’t fall in love with the man I want to become.

The woman I really want to marry is someone who’d love that guy.

I don’t want a cookie-cutter life

There’s a neighborhood near the place a I live.  There are a lot of big houses there.  The houses all look more or less the same.  They’re built from similar blueprints.  Some are probably even built from the same blueprint as others.  They’re all various shades of brown.  They all sit on lots that are really too small for them.

I’ve seen neighborhoods like this in other places.  New developments full of McMansions.

I want a house of my own someday.  But not one of those.

I want my house to be a reflection of who I am.

I want my life to reflect who I am.

I don’t want to do things just to fit in.  I don’t want to do things just to be different.  I just want to be me.

I’m not trying to reject anything that anyone else has.  I want marriage, a family, a home, stability.  But I don’t want to do things just because other people are doing them.  I want to think critically.  To make sure I’m doing what’s best for me and mine.

I want to be in charge of my life.  To make my own decisions.  To be as self-reliant as possible.
I want to be free to share what I want to share.  To keep private what I want to keep private.

Too many people are afraid to truly think critically.  To really think for themselves.  They do the things they’re told they should do, and never really question why.

I don’t think the Good Lord put us on this Earth  to be cookie-cutter people.  We were put here with unique strengths and weaknesses for a reason. He didn’t intend for us to be interchangeable cogs for The Machine.