There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad.

Ran out of my anti-depressants last Friday.

The health insurance I was on ended December 31st.

Without insurance a 30 day supply is $128.

I don’t have that kind of money just lying around.

I wanted to quit at some point.  This seems like as good a time as any.

They biggest thing I’ve noticed is the dizziness.  I think that’s getting better.

Have I felt sad more often?  Yes.

I don’t feel sad all the time.

I haven’t thought about killing myself.

I feel more irritable than I did before I started taking them last summer.  Hopefully that will pass.

I’m tired of feeling like a robot.  Maybe other pharmaceuticals wouldn’t cause that.

I also worry about side effects.

I’ve read several articles stating that anti-depressants can cause BRAIN DAMAGE.

I’ve read other articles which say many times depression is caused by a lack of proper nutrition.

I’m going to keep taking my blood pressure pills for now.  I’m sure I won’t need those either once I start eating better and losing weight.

Ultimately, I don’t trust pharmaceuticals.

Or the glorified drug dealers pushing them.

“Side effects may include increased bleeding, loss of libido, inability to think clearly, dementia, and DEATH.  In a clinical trial a significant percentage of participants died.  Ask your doctor if ***** is right for you.”

I’m such a mess

I took my pills this morning.

I feel so pathetic that I have to take pills to feel okay.

I hate that they keeps me from feeling some things.

On Christmas I watched Mr. Krueger’s Christmas.

I always cry at the part where he’s talking to baby Jesus.

I’m crying now just thinking about it.

Not last Christmas, though.

I wanted to.

I tried to.

But I just couldn’t.

It kept me from enjoying it as much as I usually do.

I hate this.

It makes me feel like a robot.

When I forget my pill I feel normal until the next day.

Then I make up for all the sadness I couldn’t feel before.

It sucks.

It’s embarrassing.