Why do I drink caffeine?

I’ve mentioned before that I’m fat.

I’m guessing at least half of that excess weight came from Mountain Dew.

Partially because I like the way it tastes.

Partially because of the caffeine.

Quitting caffeine sucks.

I hate having a headache all the time.

Being tired all the time is the worst!

Caffeine withdrawal gives me this weird thirst.  I can’t quench it with water.

After the withdrawals are over I feel a lot better, though.

When I drink caffeine habitually I get heartburn.

As well as other digestive issues.

I don’t sleep very well.  I wake up in the middle of the night.  Then I don’t want to go back to sleep.

Drinking caffeine is not the best option for me.

But I have a hard time sticking to any kind of schedule.

Sometimes I get sleep deprived.  I feel like I need something extra.

Just one won’t hurt.

It’s never just one.

Before I know it, it’s become a habit again.

I’m fat

400

That’s what the scale said the last time I was at the doctor’s office.

I haven’t always been fat. I was chubby as a kid, but nothing like this.

When I graduated from high school I was 6’0″ and 180 lbs.

When I went to college I started walking a lot. One time I walked with a friend to the next town, which was six miles away, and halfway back (we got a ride from some kind strangers).

When I was dating my first serious girlfriend I started drinking Mountain Dew. That’s also when I got my first car. Then she left me for someone else and I got depressed. I lived alone and didn’t have any friends. That’s when I started putting on weight.

I’m not sure if I lost weight the first time I moved back in with my mom. I know I did the second time. I went from almost 300 lbs down to about 220 lbs. Then I started gaining again.

I was 275 by the time I moved back out again, and 350 by the time I met my wife. At one point I weighed 422 or more, now it’s down to 400.

I’ve tried a few things to lose weight. I’ve tried eating salads every day. I’ve tried quitting soda and just drinking water. I’ve tried going for walks. But I’m not consistent. I have trouble sticking with the changes I make. I give up too easily.