I try to be optimistic. I tell myself the future can be better than the present.
Sometimes it’s hard though.
Yesterday morning I was watching old family videos.
Wife and kids happy.
Now it’s coming to an end. That makes me feel depressed.
I wish I could go back and fix it. But I can’t.
I used to think about killing myself a lot. I’d have a fight with my wife and think “I can’t take this anymore!”
I rarely have those thoughts anymore. They still show up occasionally, though.
Therapy helps. Anti-depressants help. Thinking about how I can improve helps.
I still get depressed.
I don’t want to get divorced. It doesn’t seem like I have a choice, though.
But I can’t give up on life.