- Do things that scare me
- Express myself
- Help others
- Teach my boys
- Spend time around positive optimists
- Experiment/Try new things
- Share my experiences
I’ve always thought of myself as an optimist.
The future will be better.
That keeps me going.
When I think about myself I focus on the negative, though.
I have a lot of good qualities. I hesitate to share those. I feel like I’m bragging.
I don’t think I should ignore my negative aspects. Those need work.
Maybe the trick is to focus on the changes I want to make.
I try to be optimistic. I tell myself the future can be better than the present.
Sometimes it’s hard though.
Yesterday morning I was watching old family videos.
Wife and kids happy.
Now it’s coming to an end. That makes me feel depressed.
I wish I could go back and fix it. But I can’t.
I used to think about killing myself a lot. I’d have a fight with my wife and think “I can’t take this anymore!”
I rarely have those thoughts anymore. They still show up occasionally, though.
Therapy helps. Anti-depressants help. Thinking about how I can improve helps.
I still get depressed.
I don’t want to get divorced. It doesn’t seem like I have a choice, though.
But I can’t give up on life.