I’m such a mess

I took my pills this morning.

I feel so pathetic that I have to take pills to feel okay.

I hate that they keeps me from feeling some things.

On Christmas I watched Mr. Krueger’s Christmas.

I always cry at the part where he’s talking to baby Jesus.

I’m crying now just thinking about it.

Not last Christmas, though.

I wanted to.

I tried to.

But I just couldn’t.

It kept me from enjoying it as much as I usually do.

I hate this.

It makes me feel like a robot.

When I forget my pill I feel normal until the next day.

Then I make up for all the sadness I couldn’t feel before.

It sucks.

It’s embarrassing.

Things I’m grateful for 20171226

  1. My family and I had a good day yesterday
  2. Recordings of my boys
  3. I got home safely last night
  4. Mr. Krueger’s Christmas
  5. My cold improving
  6. Window scrapers
  7. Patience
  8. Having a job until the end of the week
  9. Abundance
  10. Knowing that things will work out

Mr. Krueger’s Christmas