Teach children to speak.

To read.

To write.

Teach them how to think.

NOT what to think.

Teach them to think critically.

Teach them to ask questions.

Show them how to find answers to their questions.

Nurture their curiosity.

Offer them help when they need it.

Then, for heaven’s sake, get out of their way.

I’m not saying they should be allowed to spend all day on social media.  Or playing video games.

Give them supervision.  Make sure they’re learning something.

Make sure they know the skills they’ll actually need as an adult.

Give them the resources they need.

Don’t force them to memorize a bunch of facts, regurgitate them onto a test, then never use them again.

Help them find their talents and grow them.

Let them run around and play when they need to.  They’ll focus better afterwards.

Don’t turn learning into drudgery.

Someone who loves learning will become a lifelong learner and make a great contribution to the world.

Someone who hates learning will become a dullard who never picks up a book again after they finish school.

Should I stay or should I go?

My wife told me she wants a divorce.  Six months ago.

She hasn’t filed yet.  I’m sure she’s going to.

I lost my job at the end of the year.

Tensions are high at home.

Up to this point I’ve decided to stay.  I want to be with my boys as much as possible.

Sometimes things are okay at home.

Sometimes they’re unbearable.

I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.

I don’t want my boys to feel abandoned.

I don’t know how much longer I can handle the tension, though.

Things I’m grateful for today 20180106

  1. My therapist
  2. Rain
  3. Pop Tarts
  4. Feeling better than yesterday
  5. Having a place to go
  6. Bernadette Logue
  7. Friends I can ask for help
  8. Libraries with wi-fi
  9. Gyms with showers
  10. I’m beginning to love and have compassion for myself

10 things I can do to start living my life to the fullest

  1. Meditate
  2. Do things that scare me
  3. Create
  4. Express myself
  5. Help others
  6. Teach my boys
  7. Love
  8. Spend time around positive optimists
  9. Experiment/Try new things
  10. Share my experiences

Things I’m grateful for 20180104

  1. Being able to hold my tongue (most of the time)
  2. Cuddling with my boys
  3. Hope for a better future
  4. A supportive mom
  5. My therapist
  6. My faith
  7. People posting resources online
  8. Nature
  9. Small towns
  10. Love

Things I’m grateful for today 20180101

  1. New beginnings
  2. Hu Hot
  3. The Last Jedi
  4. Ferdinand
  5. Prayer
  6. Scriptures
  7. Electric clippers
  8. Salt lamps
  9. Text messaging
  10. Love


I’ve always been the first one to say, “I love you.”  I always say, “Not next time.”  But I always do.

Vulnerability is scary.

I’ve felt a lot of shame in my life.  I’ve thought, “If people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.”

The result seems to have been the opposite.

No one has told me how terrible I am.

People have actually said some really nice things.  About me.  About things I’ve written.

I feel like I’m just getting started.

Paradoxically, being vulnerable has made me feel better about myself.

It’s made me feel stronger.

You should try it.

I can’t save you

I’ve noticed a pattern in my romantic relationships.

Several women I’ve loved have been the victims of abuse.

I wanted to save them.

I wanted to show them they were worthy of love.  That they had value.

I thought if I told them how wonderful they were they would see that I was right.  They would see how beautiful they were, inside and out.  They would see themselves the way I saw them.

I was wrong.

It wasn’t enough.

I failed them.

I wanted to be the knight in shining armor.  To ride in on my white horse.  To slay the dragon and save the damsel in distress.

I’m really just a scared little boy.

My armor is made of cardboard and paper.  My horse is a broomstick.  My sword is made of wood.

I’m sorry.

I can’t save you.

I’m not even sure I can save me.

I need to love myself more

I’ve spent a lot of my life not loving myself.

Hating myself, even.

I suspect that’s a big part of the reason I’ve failed at so many things.

Then I beat myself up for being a failure.

I know I need to love myself if I’m going to be successful.  I’ve been working on it, but it’s not easy.

A big part of it is not saying and thinking negative things about myself.  Or at least saying and thinking more positive than negative.

If anyone has any suggestions for anything that’s worked for them I’d appreciate them.

I don’t want to rush into a new relationship

Don’t worry about finding the right person.  Become the right person.

– Source Unknown

The first step to being the right person is loving yourself.

I’ve hated myself for a long as I can remember.

I’m working on loving myself now.  I feel pretty good about myself now.  I’ve got a lot of bad qualities, but there are a lot of good ones, too.  I can work on the bad ones, and the good ones can always get better.

My relationships with my boys are more important than any romantic relationships right now.  I’m a better father than I’ve been in the past, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

I’m not satisfied with a lot of things in my life right now.

I want to be able to go to the temple, and that’s not something I can do right now.  I want to improve my spirituality and get to the temple.

I’ve been doing phone jobs for most of my life.  I hate talking on the phone.  I ‘m burned out and I really need to do something else.

I’m not healthy.  I’m fat.  I go for walks, but not every day.  I don’t eat healthy.  I’m on an antidepressant and blood pressure meds.  I want to get off those.

I need to start reading books on a daily basis.  I want to learn and develop new skills.

I want to be my own boss.  I wants to build websites and make money from those.

I want to be able to afford to support myself, my wife and kids.  I want my mom to be able to stop working.

I don’t feel like I have to self-actualize before pursuing a romantic relationship.  I do want to get moving in the right direction and make some real progress first.

Making the changes I want will make me a different person.  Someone who would fall in love with the man I am now wouldn’t fall in love with the man I want to become.

The woman I really want to marry is someone who’d love that guy.