I’m a scared little boy

So many things I haven’t done because I was afraid.

So many things I have done because I was afraid.

I let fear rule my life.

Fear is the main reason I haven’t started any businesses yet.

Fear is why I don’t get closer to people.

Open up to them.

Express myself.

I’ve done jobs I’ve hated for most of my adult life because I was afraid to try something new.

I’m tired of being afraid.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard.

I get it.

It’s something I struggle with.  Getting hurt is part of life.  Letting go of grudges is hard.

It’s worth it, though.

Forgiveness isn’t trusting them again.  It’s just not holding a grudge.

There’s an old saying: “Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill the other person.”

Don’t hold on to hatred.  You’re only hurting yourself.

Forgive them for your own sake.  For your own piece of mind.

You’ll be glad you did.

Offended

People get offended way too easily.

(Warning: language: pg-ish?)

I don’t understand the point of getting offended.

That’s not to say I never get my feelings hurt.  But I try to let go of it as quickly as possible.

Being offended is a choice.

You choose whether to be offended.  Whether to hold a grudge or let it go.

Holding a grudge only hurts you.

Let it go.

And don’t start singing that stupid song from Frozen.  I hate that song, and I’m offended.  😉

I need to love myself more

I’ve spent a lot of my life not loving myself.

Hating myself, even.

I suspect that’s a big part of the reason I’ve failed at so many things.

Then I beat myself up for being a failure.

I know I need to love myself if I’m going to be successful.  I’ve been working on it, but it’s not easy.

A big part of it is not saying and thinking negative things about myself.  Or at least saying and thinking more positive than negative.

If anyone has any suggestions for anything that’s worked for them I’d appreciate them.

I hate my job

I hate talking on the phone.  I’ve been doing professionally for twelve years.

I’m an extreme introvert.  Talking to strangers on the phone all day is DRAINING.

I’m shy.  I avoid talking to strangers.

I’m incredibly awkward.  I’m no good at small talk.  Sometimes it’s hard to end conversations.

I’m sensitive.  I talk to angry people.  They take it out on me.  I take it personally.

My job doesn’t leave me energy to do what I want to do.

I’m afraid to quit.  Talking on the phone is my only real professional experience.  I hate it, but I need to pay rent, bills, etc.

I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.

I don’t want to rush into a new relationship

Don’t worry about finding the right person.  Become the right person.

– Source Unknown

The first step to being the right person is loving yourself.

I’ve hated myself for a long as I can remember.

I’m working on loving myself now.  I feel pretty good about myself now.  I’ve got a lot of bad qualities, but there are a lot of good ones, too.  I can work on the bad ones, and the good ones can always get better.

My relationships with my boys are more important than any romantic relationships right now.  I’m a better father than I’ve been in the past, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

I’m not satisfied with a lot of things in my life right now.

I want to be able to go to the temple, and that’s not something I can do right now.  I want to improve my spirituality and get to the temple.

I’ve been doing phone jobs for most of my life.  I hate talking on the phone.  I ‘m burned out and I really need to do something else.

I’m not healthy.  I’m fat.  I go for walks, but not every day.  I don’t eat healthy.  I’m on an antidepressant and blood pressure meds.  I want to get off those.

I need to start reading books on a daily basis.  I want to learn and develop new skills.

I want to be my own boss.  I wants to build websites and make money from those.

I want to be able to afford to support myself, my wife and kids.  I want my mom to be able to stop working.

I don’t feel like I have to self-actualize before pursuing a romantic relationship.  I do want to get moving in the right direction and make some real progress first.

Making the changes I want will make me a different person.  Someone who would fall in love with the man I am now wouldn’t fall in love with the man I want to become.

The woman I really want to marry is someone who’d love that guy.