Missing my boys

Sometimes when I can’t be with my boys it hurts. It feels like there’s a huge hole in my heart.

Other times I’m fine.

I don’t know what makes the difference.

When I was younger I would dream about marriage. I wanted to get married as far back as I can remember.

Fatherhood was something I rarely gave any thought.

I figured I would have kids at some point. I didn’t think about it beyond that.

Sometimes it’s all I can think about now.

I want to spend as much time with my boys as I can.

I want them to have the best future they can.

I want to do whatever I can to make that happen.

I want to have the best relationships with them I can.

I want them to be the best men they can be.

I want them to learn from my bad choices.

To not go through what I’ve been through.

Learn the easy way. Please.

Advice is ultimately autobiography. Don’t listen to people where the advice is coming from a pedestal. That’s how snake oil is created.

James Altucher

He’s younger than me.  Even more foolish.

He hasn’t made the same bad choices.  Not yet.

Maybe he won’t with some helpful advice.

Or some scare tactics.

He’s me.  But younger.

Maybe he’s you, too.

I can’t un-choose my bad choices.

But maybe you can make better ones.

Maybe you can learn what I learned.

Without the pain.