Why do I drink caffeine?

I’ve mentioned before that I’m fat.

I’m guessing at least half of that excess weight came from Mountain Dew.

Partially because I like the way it tastes.

Partially because of the caffeine.

Quitting caffeine sucks.

I hate having a headache all the time.

Being tired all the time is the worst!

Caffeine withdrawal gives me this weird thirst.  I can’t quench it with water.

After the withdrawals are over I feel a lot better, though.

When I drink caffeine habitually I get heartburn.

As well as other digestive issues.

I don’t sleep very well.  I wake up in the middle of the night.  Then I don’t want to go back to sleep.

Drinking caffeine is not the best option for me.

But I have a hard time sticking to any kind of schedule.

Sometimes I get sleep deprived.  I feel like I need something extra.

Just one won’t hurt.

It’s never just one.

Before I know it, it’s become a habit again.

I’m a big teddy bear

I’m overweight.

There are some obvious drawbacks to this.

I’m not as healthy as I could be (to say the least).

I don’t have a lot of energy.

On the other hand, I understand I’m nice to cuddle with.

I’m also gentle.

I’m kind.

I’m loving.

I’m not very hairy (except for my beard).

There’s a lot to be said for being a big teddy bear.

I kinda like it.

 

I’m undisciplined

I want to start my own business, but I can never find the time.  I don’t have the energy.

I’ve thought about studying martial arts to help me be more disciplined.  But there’s always some reason I can’t.

A lot of the reasons I can’t do things aren’t real reasons.  They’re just excuses.

I need to stop making them.

I hate my job

I hate talking on the phone.  I’ve been doing professionally for twelve years.

I’m an extreme introvert.  Talking to strangers on the phone all day is DRAINING.

I’m shy.  I avoid talking to strangers.

I’m incredibly awkward.  I’m no good at small talk.  Sometimes it’s hard to end conversations.

I’m sensitive.  I talk to angry people.  They take it out on me.  I take it personally.

My job doesn’t leave me energy to do what I want to do.

I’m afraid to quit.  Talking on the phone is my only real professional experience.  I hate it, but I need to pay rent, bills, etc.

I’m not sure how much longer I can take it.