Depression

I try to be optimistic.  I tell myself the future can be better than the present.

Sometimes it’s hard though.

Yesterday morning I was watching old family videos.

Wife and kids happy.

Now it’s coming to an end.  That makes me feel depressed.

I wish I could go back and fix it.  But I can’t.

I used to think about killing myself a lot.  I’d have a fight with my wife and think “I can’t take this anymore!”

I rarely have those thoughts anymore.  They still show up occasionally, though.

Therapy helps.  Anti-depressants help.  Thinking about how I can improve helps.

I still get depressed.

I don’t want to get divorced.  It doesn’t seem like I have a choice, though.

But I can’t give up on life.