- Jesus Christ
- My kids’ faces as they open their gifts
- My boys getting along
- Being done with wrapping presents
- Central heating
- Not having to work today
I was pretty sheltered as a kid.
My dad died when I was three.
My mom kept me home most of the time. I was happy there, so I didn’t mind.
In the LDS church young men are expected to serve a full-time mission for two years. At that time they would go at age nineteen.
I was afraid of being on my own for that long.
I’d been on my own at scout camps and events, but that was it.
I was afraid of being far from home.
I had always wanted to get married. That seemed a lot safer, and I’d always been romantically inclined.
I had a plan.
Right after high school I would go to college for a year. While I was there I would find someone to marry.
Never mind that I had never gone out on a date before.
Never mind that I was afraid to even talk to girls.
My plan was foolproof.
What could possibly go wrong?
I was three.
I only have a handful of memories about him.
After he died my male role models were my grandpas and Mister Rogers.
When I got older my Scout leaders became role models, too.
I wonder how I’d be different if my dad had lived. Would I be more masculine? Would I be a better father?
I used to worry that my sons wouldn’t be masculine enough because of me. I don’t worry about that anymore.