I’m such a mess

I took my pills this morning.

I feel so pathetic that I have to take pills to feel okay.

I hate that they keeps me from feeling some things.

On Christmas I watched Mr. Krueger’s Christmas.

I always cry at the part where he’s talking to baby Jesus.

I’m crying now just thinking about it.

Not last Christmas, though.

I wanted to.

I tried to.

But I just couldn’t.

It kept me from enjoying it as much as I usually do.

I hate this.

It makes me feel like a robot.

When I forget my pill I feel normal until the next day.

Then I make up for all the sadness I couldn’t feel before.

It sucks.

It’s embarrassing.

Things I’m grateful for 20171226

  1. My family and I had a good day yesterday
  2. Recordings of my boys
  3. I got home safely last night
  4. Mr. Krueger’s Christmas
  5. My cold improving
  6. Window scrapers
  7. Patience
  8. Having a job until the end of the week
  9. Abundance
  10. Knowing that things will work out

Mr. Krueger’s Christmas

Things I’m grateful for 20171225

  1. Jesus Christ
  2. My kids’ faces as they open their gifts
  3. Fatherhood
  4. My boys getting along
  5. Being done with wrapping presents
  6. Snow
  7. Central heating
  8. Insulation
  9. Not having to work today
  10. Memories

2017 First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional

Things I’m grateful for 20171218

  1. My wife
  2. My boys
  3. My mom
  4. My friends
  5. My car
  6. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
  7. Being able to go to the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert
  8. Therapy
  9. My apartment
  10. My shoes