I don’t want to be afraid anymore

I was ashamed.

I let fear run my life.

I lied because I was afraid of what she’d say.  Afraid of what she’d do.  Afraid of how she’d feel.

Would she do if she thought I was as awful as I thought I was?  Would she leave me?

I thought I was a terrible person.  I couldn’t let anyone know how terrible I was.  No one would want to be with someone as terrible as me.

I was never good enough for me.

I had to pretend to be someone else.  To conceal my true self.

To wear a mask.

Wearing a mask all the time is exhausting.  I was always afraid of being found out.

The only time I could relax was when I was alone.

I’m tired of wearing a mask.

I’m tired of being afraid.

Taking the mask off is scary.

People will judge me.

What if no one likes me anymore?

What if I lose everyone and everything I care about?

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