- The “Tree of Life”
- My car
By which I mean I’m a cry baby.
All kinds of things make me cry.
Things I read.
I haven’t always been so sensitive.
I wonder what’s changed.
I hate being dependent on others.
I want to buy some land. With cash.
To build a house. With cash.
I want it to be efficient.
I want to generate my own electricity. Solar. Wind. Thorium. Zero Point Energy. Whatever works.
I want to catch rain and snow. Filter it. Use it.
To grow my own food.
I want to help other people do these things.
To be free.
There was so much I still wanted to do.
It was our last day in D.C.
I was on a Scout trip.
We had flown to New York. We spent a day and a night and most of the next day there.
We took a train to Philadelphia. We spent the night there.
The next day we drove to D.C.
The first two days we saw the monuments around the Mall. The Capitol. Arlington Cemetery. The Museum of American History.
For some reason my roommates had decided our last day would be a good day to sleep in.
I had a map.
I knew how to use the Metro.
I was off.
My first stop was the Air & Space Museum.
Then the National Archives.
Hard Rock Cafe.
Then back to the hotel.
The rest of our group was waiting for me.
I hadn’t told anyone what I was doing.
Apparently they’d been worried about me.
I buy old toys on eBay.
Toys I had as a kid.
Toys I wished I’d had.
I buy myself new toys, too. Hot Wheels. Funko Pop! figures.
I like cartoons. Teen Titans Go! Powerpuff Girls. Phineas and Ferb.
I like little kids’ shows. Mister Rogers. Thomas the Tank Engine.
My older son LOVED Thomas.
My younger son didn’t like Thomas as much. I was a little disappointed.
I’m not very mature.
- Doctor Who
- Movie theaters
- Arcades in movie theaters
- Being able to buy tickets online
- Slow days
- Not running out of gas
- 24-hour Mexican restaurants
I don’t know if I ever really liked myself.
If I did I don’t remember.
I’d tell myself I was stupid. Ugly. Bad.
You get the idea.
I’m not stupid. There’s plenty of proof of that.
Beauty is subjective. So is ugliness. All of my significant others have told me I’m handsome. So has my mom. 😉
We all do good things. We all do bad things. I’ve done plenty of bad things. Some indefensible. But I try to be a good man. I think that counts for a lot.
We all have hard times. They’re a part of life.
We all need help. We need support. From others, and from ourselves.
Life is tough.
Don’t make it tougher than it has to be.
There are some obvious drawbacks to this.
I’m not as healthy as I could be (to say the least).
I don’t have a lot of energy.
On the other hand, I understand I’m nice to cuddle with.
I’m also gentle.
I’m not very hairy (except for my beard).
There’s a lot to be said for being a big teddy bear.
I kinda like it.
I always have.
That includes female humans.
It also includes small children.
It’s not “manly” to like these things.
But I do.
I get upset. I don’t say anything.
I’ll do this over and over.
Then something sets me off.
The last straw.
I boil over.
Everyone suffers, including me.
It’s usually over something small.
It’s just one thing too many.
I know it’s bad to bottle up my emotions.
I just don’t want to bother people.